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If you succeed in disregarding the mean-spirited comments, harsh criticisms, jealousies and the painful self-esteem attacks by family members, it is like you are assured greater success in achieving your life’s goals. You have proven your resilience in light of strong opposition. You will have sustained trust and belief in yourself even when you were attacked by those to whom you are most emotionally vulnerable. Your family relations closest to you, many since birth, have a special power that can build and fortify you or POTENTIALLY tear down and destroy your self-esteem and self-confidence. The ultimate outcome is really up to you

While you are unable to control what they may think, say and do, nonetheless, you have the power to choose how you react to what they may think, say and do. That is your power. That is your choice. Allow your subconscious programming to keep you on your preferred course. Thus, you will react in a positive, preplanned manner that retains your high self-esteem, high self-confidence and your positive sense of self. You are defining who you are rather than allowing others to define you otherwise. When you subconsciously believe that you possess positive attributes, those are what you manifest. When you subconsciously believe that you are a worthy, deserving person, there is no need to prove it or to try to convince the naysayers of it.

To illustrate this point, let me describe the conversation I had with a very attractive, tall and slim, twenty-year-old woman named Olivia (name changed for privacy). She had come to me for HypnoCounseling help about her negative self-image. No matter what she saw in the mirror, she was dissatisfied and felt she was not good enough. To my amazement Olivia felt she was especially ugly. She revealed during our first conversation that her younger sister would constantly tease her about her hair, her features and her overall appearance. This was a case of allowing another person (a family member who was “supposed” to be one of the nearest and dearest) to affect the core self-image beliefs of another.

Fortunately, through HypnoCounseling techniques that I have termed, Reprogramming Hypnosis, Olivia purposefully and subconsciously accepted a new perspective of herself. She learned that the hurtful criticisms and teasing really originated from her sister’s own issues of low self-esteem. Olivia programmed her subconscious to refuse to buy into the negativity that was hurled at her from her sister or from anyone else. Olivia got in touch with her inner wisdom through hypnotic dialogue during our session. Consequently, she clearly knew who she was and accepted and liked who she was. The taunting, the bullying, the emotional attacks by others, especially her sister, were immediately disarmed through Olivia’s intentional subconscious reprogramming. She also completed a forgiveness cleansing on the subconscious level that freed her and gave her peace of mind. The following weeks were dedicated to deleting the low self-esteem beliefs, additional destructive feelings and stressful side effects from traumas. Just as you delete a program in your home computer, you also can delete Faulty Subconscious Programs from your internal (and perhaps, also your eternal) subconscious computer.

The silver lining in this story is that Olivia was motivated to discover and adopt new and very strong self-empowerment techniques, thanks most of all to her sister. Maybe there is a lesson in this case study for us. If we recognize personal and/or spiritual growth opportunities when we encounter our family’s negativity, then we may focus upon a positive consequence–the powerhouse we are becoming. The stronger you become, the more you can overcome. Remember, your family’s negativity, even when unchangeable, may actually be viewed as gift for you. Nevertheless, it may be wise to thank them “in absentia”, that is, without them being present. This article’s message may be beyond their ability to comprehend because they are so entrenched and mired in their own negative issues. Keep the faith nonetheless. Where there is life, there is always hope. And just maybe, they eventually will value your example and follow it.

Affirmations for High Self-esteem that Disarm Your Family’s Negativity:

I unconditionally love and accept who I am.

I am a good person.

I am worthy.

I am lovable.

I am caring.

I am intelligent.

I am beautiful/handsome in mind, body and spirit.

I am forgiving of other people’s flaws and insecurities.

While I am forgiving of other people’s flaws and insecurities, I respect my right to avoid enduring harm from those people. And so I do.

I believe and trust in myself. I respect myself as my own best friend.

I care about myself and I care about others as well. We are all united in one ocean of our Creator’s energy.

No one is better than I am and no one is worse. We all have our unique paths and our own lessons to learn.

I am happy with who I am.  I am doing the best I can under my circumstances.

The most profound lessons in my life may come from my family, including other than blood related family members. It is possible my family may offer to me my biggest challenges. Yet they may also provide some of my greatest rewards in personal and/or soul development. I am grateful to my family for many reasons.

Somehow as we spun around, our car landed and stopped just as if it had been parked in the driveway instead of ending up in one of the six foot ditches that bordered both sides of the narrow driveway. Our car looked like a squeezed, all metal accordion. I was lifted out through the driver’s side and we both were transported right across the street to a “conveniently located” large hospital. Neither of us had suffered a scratch except when I was lifted out and received a tiny cut from one of the broken bits of windshield glass that had flown all over us upon the impact. Remember, this was before shoulder restraining safety belts had been in use. That night as I undressed, I found two quarter-of-an-inch square cubes of glass in my undergarments.

What miracle of synchronicity had saved Carol and me? The only answer that made sense to me was that it was the handiwork of a Guardian Angel. My entire frame of reference was altered that night. Every new day thereafter gained additional meaning as a gift of life and a blessing. I intuitively knew that my life had been preserved for a purpose. I determined then that I would make each day count as a day of gratitude for extending my life by giving back to others. Each day I focus on making a positive contribution in some, even if very small, way. Strange how something that seems so awful could transform into something really positive. Besides, how could I ever imagine that a thief in part could be responsible for saving my life? What are the odds of that happening?

It may be challenging to admit that I am not perfect. Yet, if I were perfect, what would be my purpose being here? So I am up for the challenge to admit I am not perfect.

Since I am not perfect and I am here, it is okay to admit that I am not perfect. By admitting that I am not perfect, I feel relieved. Whew! The pressure is off.

Anyone who thinks people always have to be perfect has an imperfect perspective (unless they are responsible for something like a nuclear energy plant). Most likely someone or something imperfect programmed them to feel that way.

Instead of attempting to always be perfect, my choice is to continue in a positive way learning and becoming everything I can be. I draw closer to being the best I can be within my unlimited potential.

I learn from my mistakes by making improvements upon them. Many famous inventors failed innumerable times before they announced, “Eureka I have found it!”

It’s okay not to be perfect as long as I keep reaching, growing and improving. That’s what I am. I am an imperfect being, reaching, growing and determined to improve each day in any or every way. And so I do.

I’m happy with myself that way. I am striving to be the best I can be under my circumstances and I am absolutely happy with that. Yes, I am really happy.

I also am at peace with myself. I love and accept myself unconditionally, imperfect or otherwise.

I am capable of turning a negative into a positive.

I am gifted at turning negatives into positives.

It makes me feel great to turn negatives into positives.

I am highly successful at turning negatives into positives.

It makes me feel great when I develop ways to turn negatives into positive outcomes.

I love turning negatives into positive outcomes. It makes me so happy!

The pollsters reported surveys proving that the general public objects strongly to all mean-spirited, fraudulent advertising. Yet, the bottom line is that the negative ad sponsors continue using denigrating pictures, fallacious logic, half-truths, outright lies and unethical personal attacks. Their goal obviously is to evoke specific emotions like anger, fear and hatred, that will produce targeted behaviors in their audiences like “I’ll never vote for that ‘blankety-blank’ candidate.” Why then does this brand of politicians insist upon continuing such abhorrent negative ads in the face of the public’s strong objections? The simple answer is because it works!

Okay then if people are upset with the vicious, dishonest ads aimed at an opponent, why do the ads still work on people who dislike/oppose them? It is appropriate for me to answer this question because the answer relates to my profession as a hypnotherapist. Negative ads work so well because their messages slip into your subconscious mind and remain there as part of your subconscious programming…WITHOUT YOUR AWARENESS OR PERMISSION! One of the last new frontiers we need to explore remains right inside the subconscious, that part of your “not conscious” mind that holds downloads of subconscious programs just like a computer would hold downloaded material. These subconscious programs have been directing us, and using the computer analogy, actually have programmed us regarding how we think, feel and behave. We, or at least a majority of us, just have not realized it… yet.

In fact, there is a great deal most people do not know about their subconscious mind. That is one of the reasons I have written my 9-CD program (in partnership with Nightingale-Conant, Corp.) and in 2010, published a greatly expanded (by 50% more material) and updated book edition with the same title, Reprogram Your Subconscious: How to Use Hypnosis to Get What You Really Want. I felt this information was so crucial to our well-being. It is because we can make positive changes for our success and happiness when we understand ourselves and why we say and do the things we do, even when we consciously do not want to think or behave that way. I call the subconscious part of our mind, our “silent, invisible partner”.

In any case, one of theories presented in the book explains that when you experience strong emotions erupting, you are automatically thrown into a state of mind wherein the highly suggestible part of your subconscious is activated. What your subconscious is programmed to do is to take your thoughts, feelings and conclusions gained from your emotional responses and thereby use them as directives to form subconscious programs. These subconscious programs consequently are downloaded instantly into your subconscious mind where they remain a permanent part of your mind’s computer-like programming.

Hence, if you see or hear one of the negative ads portraying a candidate’s actions and/or character in terrible terms that contradict your values, your emotional response typically is to feel terribly negative about that person. Your negative responses are noted and downloaded automatically by your subconscious without your awareness. These emotional conclusions that were evoked remain there permanently even if the ad is outrageous, uses lies or confuses the truth. The kicker is that you are unable to consciously change that “faulty” conclusion even when you learn that the advertising was based on falsehoods. Yes, you will continue to think, believe, say and behave based on your original emotional download even though later you do not wish to continue believing what the ad convinced you to believe.

The good news is this “faulty” programming that I have labeled Faulty Subconscious Programs, can be deleted by you solely or with the help of a hypnosis professional. My 9-CD program and the supportive book give you the “Reprogramming Yourself” operator’s manual. Yes, you can learn easily how to prevail over those deceptive negative ads that were mentioned at the beginning of this article. Those negative ads are like computer viruses positioned to trick you into accepting what the ad says is reality. However, knowledge is power. Check the facts carefully and reprogram your subconscious to follow what you have deduced is the truth. With sufficient knowledge and guidance now available, you can become a Director of your subconscious mind. Yes, you may outmaneuver those who lack integrity and take your control back. That is called self-empowerment and knowing how to reprogram your subconscious.

The Butterfly and Its Communicative Relatives  by Gale Glassner Twersky

Before I begin my butterfly story, I’d like to give you the background that preceded my incredible experience in Paris with a very special Monarch butterfly in May of 2006.

After studying Spirituality for over 25 years, I had finally transformed most of my fears into new perspectives that allowed me to replace fears with love. For instance, I had always been terrified of bees but one day when I saw that a bee was trapped in our bathroom trying to escape through the skylight, I used my thoughts to speak to it with love. I asked that it drop to the floor so I could place a plastic cup in front of it, have it walk inside, and then I would take it outside to freedom. No sooner had I finished that thought, than the bee did a nose dive for the floor. Indeed, I placed the plastic cup in front of the then walking bee and it accommodated me by simply walking in. I then took it outside and let it go free. Rather amazing? Well, the same scene happened within the next few weeks with 4 more bees in the same bathroom!

Then, one day after the bee episodes, there was a moth on the bathroom mirror. I suggested silently through my thoughts that I would help it outside to freedom if it would allow me to take it outside in the small, plastic liquid Tylenol cup that I held in my hand (I didn’t have the usual 7 oz plastic cup handy). Well, it did not wait for the cup; it simply flew to my finger immediately and I bent my finger allowing the moth to remain inside the open Tylenol cup and then I went downstairs and released the moth outside.

My husband did not believe it was possible that I was “communicating” in some manner with bugs and thought I was delusional. So one day when there was a fly in our kitchen, he pointed to it and said, “Let’s see you talk to this one because ecause if you can’t, in 5 minutes I’m going to get the fly swatter.” Making no promises to my husband, I communicated the urgency of my request that I help this poor little fly out the door and suggested that I would extend my finger onto the table and allow it to climb on board. It took about 3 minutes but it very wisely complied with my request, walked up my finger and remained there, I lifted my finger off the table and walked about 15 feet, with the fly still resting on my finger, until I reached my back door. I quickly opened the door and released the (I was sure) jubilant fly. I felt triumphant yet my husband never spoke of the incident. I think he was in denial. A year later when I brought the incident up during a conversation, he said he had forgotten it ever happened.

And now for the butterfly story. While on our first trip to Paris, my husband, my daughter and I were visiting the magnificent gardens of Versailles. I noticed the most gorgeous, vibrant orange colored Monarch butterfly and brought it to my family’s attention. Then all of a sudden the butterfly left the tall hedge and flew about 15 feet overhead. I called to it and raised my arm with my hand making a flat landing pad for it. “Oh, come to me, please come to me,” I beckoned so it could hear me. And it did! It came back down and lit upon my hand whereupon I drew it close to my face. All I could think to say to it was, “You’re so beautiful!” It stayed on my hand and I was completely mesmerized. It had a body like a rainbow with swirled colors that appeared like a pipe cleaner, fuzzy, and elongated. Its antennae had little black balls on the ends. Its legs were somewhat bowl-legged with what looked like black booties. It felt like I was communing with nature and communing with God at the same time. It was a “in the moment” experience that felt like total peace. Especially fortunate for me (and this narrative) my daughter had a camera and took \my picture speaking to the butterfly on my hand. So now I had tangible proof of my few minutes in adoration of my butterfly. Best of all, my husband has stopped debating me probably because left brain dominant people like he is, recognize credible, concrete proof.

This was a very special, spiritual and synchronistic moment in my life when time stood still. It added another example of how we, the animal kingdom and even the insect kingdom have a special frequency that we humans can tune into, similar to what people have been noticing about dolphins, dogs, cats and horses. They bring us so many blessings and reminders that we are all connected in this ocean of energy. We are all One.

*Affirmations:

•  I directly inquire and learn about the ways that make my partner sense being loved completely by me.
•  I successfully express, frequently and consistently, my love for my partner in ways that are best received and most acceptable    for my partner.
• Thus, I successfully communicate my love to my partner in ways that are most effective for my partner’s sense of truly being loved completely.
• I offer my partner my list of what my partner may do to make me feel and believe I am truly loved completely.
• Our love grows greater each and every day.
• I am so happy to believe and to feel my partner’s complete love for me.
• It is so great to have a truly loving relationship with my partner.

*Remember when using the above affirmations in a self-hypnosis format, you may simply refer to the Platinum Rule article and all of these positive affirmations that you want your subconscious to download and to keep reinforcing always. Furthermore, you may make a recording for personal use of these affirmations for listening during hypnosis. Also, print out these affirmations to read and focus on daily.