How Your Family's Negativity May Strengthen YouGale Glassner Twersky
“If you wonder why you may be surrounded by family members who oppose you and/or your views, consider it a gift that will strengthen your belief in yourself. Think of body building. When you subject your muscle to strong exercise/strain, it creates tears that signal your body to rebuild the torn muscle tissue thereby healing it. This results in your bigger, stronger muscle.” Gale Glassner Twersky
If you succeed in disregarding the mean-spirited comments, harsh criticisms, jealousies and the painful self-esteem attacks by family members, it is like you are assured greater success in achieving your life’s goals. You have proven your resilience in light of strong opposition. You will have sustained trust and belief in yourself even when you were attacked by those to whom you are most emotionally vulnerable. Your family relations closest to you, many since birth, have a special power that can build and fortify you or POTENTIALLY tear down and destroy your self-esteem and self-confidence. The ultimate outcome is really up to you
While you are unable to control what they may think, say and do, nonetheless, you have the power to choose how you react to what they may think, say and do. That is your power. That is your choice. Allow your subconscious programming to keep you on your preferred course. Thus, you will react in a positive, preplanned manner that retains your high self-esteem, high self-confidence and your positive sense of self. You are defining who you are rather than allowing others to define you otherwise. When you subconsciously believe that you possess positive attributes, those are what you manifest. When you subconsciously believe that you are a worthy, deserving person, there is no need to prove it or to try to convince the naysayers of it.
To illustrate this point, let me describe the conversation I had with a very attractive, tall and slim, twenty-year-old woman named Olivia (name changed for privacy). She had come to me for HypnoCounseling help about her negative self-image. No matter what she saw in the mirror, she was dissatisfied and felt she was not good enough. To my amazement Olivia felt she was especially ugly. She revealed during our first conversation that her younger sister would constantly tease her about her hair, her features and her overall appearance. This was a case of allowing another person (a family member who was “supposed” to be one of the nearest and dearest) to affect the core self-image beliefs of another.
Fortunately, through HypnoCounseling techniques that I have termed, Reprogramming Hypnosis, Olivia purposefully and subconsciously accepted a new perspective of herself. She learned that the hurtful criticisms and teasing really originated from her sister’s own issues of low self-esteem. Olivia programmed her subconscious to refuse to buy into the negativity that was hurled at her from her sister or from anyone else. Olivia got in touch with her inner wisdom through hypnotic dialogue during our session. Consequently, she clearly knew who she was and accepted and liked who she was. The taunting, the bullying, the emotional attacks by others, especially her sister, were immediately disarmed through Olivia’s intentional subconscious reprogramming. She also completed a forgiveness cleansing on the subconscious level that freed her and gave her peace of mind. The following weeks were dedicated to deleting the low self-esteem beliefs, additional destructive feelings and stressful side effects from traumas. Just as you delete a program in your home computer, you also can delete Faulty Subconscious Programs from your internal (and perhaps, also your eternal) subconscious computer.
The silver lining in this story is that Olivia was motivated to discover and adopt new and very strong self-empowerment techniques, thanks most of all to her sister. Maybe there is a lesson in this case study for us. If we recognize personal and/or spiritual growth opportunities when we encounter our family’s negativity, then we may focus upon a positive consequence–the powerhouse we are becoming. The stronger you become, the more you can overcome. Remember, your family’s negativity, even when unchangeable, may actually be viewed as gift for you. Nevertheless, it may be wise to thank them “in absentia”, that is, without them being present. This article’s message may be beyond their ability to comprehend because they are so entrenched and mired in their own negative issues. Keep the faith nonetheless. Where there is life, there is always hope. And just maybe, they eventually will value your example and follow it.
Affirmations for High Self-esteem that Disarm Your Family’s Negativity:
I unconditionally love and accept who I am.
I am a good person.
I am worthy.
I am lovable.
I am caring.
I am intelligent.
I am beautiful/handsome in mind, body and spirit.
I am forgiving of other people’s flaws and insecurities.
While I am forgiving of other people’s flaws and insecurities, I respect my right to avoid enduring harm from those people. And so I do.
I believe and trust in myself. I respect myself as my own best friend.
I care about myself and I care about others as well. We are all united in one ocean of our Creator’s energy.
No one is better than I am and no one is worse. We all have our unique paths and our own lessons to learn.
I am happy with who I am. I am doing the best I can under my circumstances.
The most profound lessons in my life may come from my family, including other than blood related family members. It is possible my family may offer to me my biggest challenges. Yet they may also provide some of my greatest rewards in personal and/or soul development. I am grateful to my family for many reasons.